It’s Not Too Late: Turning Slips into Strength

You’ve Worked Hard — Here’s the Truth About Slips

You’ve shown courage, commitment, and hope in choosing bariatric surgery. You’ve worked hard for your health. And yet, even after your best efforts, you may notice a small slip — a few pounds gained, an old habit creeping back in. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Slips don’t erase your progress or define your worth. In fact, they can become turning points — moments where you discover your resilience, reclaim your path, and build strength for the long term.

The Hidden Cycle of Avoidance and Shame

After bariatric surgery, the biggest challenge isn’t only about food or weight — it’s about something deeply human: our natural impulse to avoid pain.

When you see a small gain it’s easy to panic. Logically, you know this is the time to pause, reflect, and gently adjust habits. But emotionally, that gain can feel enormous. It can wake up an old, familiar voice of shame.

Shame whispers: “I failed. I ruined everything. I can’t face this.”

Because our nervous systems are wired to protect us from pain, we instinctively pull back. We might avoid the scale, stop logging meals, skip support groups, or silently promise, “I’ll start again tomorrow.”

This is called Avoidance Syndrome. Once avoidance takes root, it grows quietly, making it harder to reverse habits and increasing the risk of more regain. The good news: this cycle can be interrupted — and the earlier you catch it, the easier it is to turn things around.

Naming and Normalizing the Experience

One of the most powerful ways to prevent Avoidance Syndrome is to talk about it openly — early and often. During the first few months after surgery, weight loss is rapid and follow-up attendance is high. It’s easy to focus on the excitement and success. But if avoidance isn’t named and normalized during this phase, you may not recognize it later, when progress slows or small lapses appear.

That’s why repetition matters. Hearing about avoidance and shame from your medical team, support groups, or peers plants a seed. It helps you spot your own negative self-talk before it spirals into automatic, unhelpful behavior. This is where you have the opportunity to rewire your brain with supportive, compassionate messages.

Try using affirmations like:

“I had a setback, and I am learning.”

“Every step teaches me something valuable.”

"One moment does not erase my progress; I can begin again right now.”

Honest Stories Build Resilience

Social media and marketing often show only glowing “before and after” photos — but that’s not the whole story. Real healing comes from honest, ethical storytelling.

When you hear someone share about a setback, their shame, and how they moved through it, you gain perspective. You learn that a slip isn’t failure, that you’re not alone, and that you too can recover and move forward. These stories don’t diminish success — they deepen it. They provide roadmaps for resilience.

Moving from Avoidance to Action

The opposite of avoidance is mindful confrontation — turning toward the challenge rather than hiding from it. In bariatric counseling, three practices build this skill:

• Movement: Moving your body — even briefly — is an act of showing up for yourself.

• Tracking: Logging food, mood, or activity builds awareness rather than denial.

• Showing Up: Attending support groups, follow-ups, or counseling creates accountability and connection.

Each of these habits interrupts avoidance and gently moves you from shame into problem-solving — a far more empowering place to be.

Building Lasting Change

Surgery changes your body, but it doesn’t automatically change your lifestyle or mindset. True, lasting transformation requires:

• Willingness to keep showing up — especially after setbacks.

• Emotional resilience — the ability to bounce back from shame and disappointment.

• Support — therapy, coaching, or groups to help rewrite old self-talk patterns.

It takes time to build a new lifestyle — a lifetime, really. That’s not failure; that’s the human condition. Weight management isn’t a straight line. It’s a series of small gains, small losses, and steady learning. The key is vigilance mixed with compassion.

Journaling Prompts to Break the Cycle

Use these prompts to confront avoidance instead of slipping into it:

• Name the Shame: Write down the exact words you hear in your mind when you notice a lapse. How do those words feel in your body?

• Flip the Script: Rewrite that self-talk as if you were encouraging a friend.

• Small Wins: List three choices you made this week that supported your health, even if they felt small.

A Mindfulness Practice for Hard Moments

When you notice the urge to avoid, pause and try this grounding exercise:

1. Take three slow breaths. Inhale through your nose, pause, then exhale slowly through your mouth.

2. Feel your feet pressing into the ground and your body supported by the chair.

3. Say to yourself: “I know what this is, and I choose to act differently. I can face this now, one step at a time.”

4. Take one small action — log your food, send a message to your group, drink water, walk for five minutes, read a poem, or check in with how you’re feeling and write about it.

Your Story Is Still Unfolding

No journey is a straight line, and healing isn’t about never stumbling — it’s about how you rise after you do. Every time you choose self-compassion over shame, or action over avoidance, you’re rewriting your story and strengthening your foundation. Whether it’s logging a meal, taking a short walk, or simply breathing through a hard moment, each small step is proof that you’re still moving forward.

It’s not too late. You have the power to turn every slip into strength, and your journey — your real, human, courageous journey — is still unfolding.